why keep living?

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Question: I have struggled with depression for awhile because I just don't see the point of life. I'm not suicidal, I have no plan to end my life, but I sure wouldn't mind if death came and found me. I don't really believe in God, and relationships just lead to pain, so what the hell is the point of all this?

Answer: There is no point, or if there is, and I told you what it was you wouldn't believe me anyway so lets move forward as if life has no point.

Since you are scrapping the God and afterlife thing that saves us a lot of time and debate. We start with the facts, you are alive now and someday you will be dead so while you are alive you might as well enjoy the show.

Certainly life is painful, so what, it is also at least equally pleasurable. I know right now you don't believe that. Depression is a disorder of perception. You may be up to your chin in problems but when you are depressed you feel like you problems are stacked up to the ceiling.

To live, not just survive until death, but to really live we must inject our lives with meaning. Most people adopt the purpose and meaning suggested by their family/society/culture/religion, almost as many adopt an almost opposite philosophy as a reaction to those same influences.

At the end of the day no matter where you get a sense of meaning, mission, purpose you gotta get one or you are just killing time. Perhaps you will choose to be a hedonist and lead a life of finding pleasure and avoiding pain. Fine, if you like that go nuts.

My real suggestion is to try to find the activities that bring Flow into your life. (for detailed info on this see Mihaly Csikszenthmihalyi's book Flow: The psychology of the optimal experience)

Flow is that feeling you get when time just flies by in a good way. You get this feeling when you find your optimal level of challenge in a task that you find rewarding.

Some people find Flow fishing or golfing, I find it in having intriguing conversations, you might find it grooming dogs or fighting for the environment. You can easily say that in the truly big picture none of these things matter. I won't argue with you. At the end of the day any intelligent logical person can make the argument that nothing matters, that we are just specks of space dust which make no ultimate difference to the universe.

I take the opposite meaning from our insignificance to the universe. To me that means that every single thing I do matters. Whether I am painting a picture, saving a life, or playing a game of solitaire all of these things matter as much as a thousand exploding suns. They matter if I let myself care about them, they matter if I put my time and my enthusiasm into them.

You ask why you should keep living, in answer I say you should start living. You need to take a risk, care, let things matter to you. You will find brilliant heart melting pain in this world, and you will also find joy, the laughter of babies, and if you can find your Flow you will feel certain that you do have a purpose on this planet that matters, even if it only matters to you.