what if they just drink? friendship and sobriety

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Question:  I just got out of a drug rehab center and they made me make a list of my sober friends.  I realized that I didn't have any.  I do have a few friends who don't use any drugs they just drink, and I know they would try to keep me clean because they helped to push me to do the rehab in the first place.  Is it okay if I hang out with my friends who drink because if I don't hang out with them I will literally be alone every weekend and I don't think I can handle that for my senior year of high school.  To be honest drinking was also one  of the problems that got me into rehab but it is the drugs that scared me and my parents and I think if I can stay away from them I will be ok.  

Answer:  30% of people who go through a rehab program maintain sobriety.  That is an amazingly positive number because staying clean is incredibly hard.  The top threat to a person like you, who has gone through a program and who really wants to stay clean is the slippery slope of rationalization.  

Every young person I have ever worked with in the arena of addictions wants to believe that eventually they will be able to truly master the issue and they will be a normal person again who can drink/smoke/gamble/etc.. in moderation without the issue taking over their life.  I have never met anyone who was able to pull it off.  I'm not saying it is impossible, I am saying you shouldn't plan on being the  exception to the rule.

Realistically I don't think you are going to avoid all of your friends who drink and use drugs, but if you are serious about maintaining your sobriety you must avoid them while they are using.  If they are your real friends they will participate in sober activities that they can do with you.

Your primary enemy is boredom.  You need to fill your time, particularly your weekend nights, with activities you cannot do while using, ex.) working, babysitting, church groups, AA, family time, going to see movies...

What you cannot do is be the designated driver for your friends!  You need one year sober before you can sign on for that job and even then you are playing with fire.

Many people will surround themselves with friends who are also in recovery.  This is also a very dangerous strategy unless those friends all have over a year clean.  A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link and often when a bunch of teens in recovery bond, when one slips into relapse the others follow.

Dating someone who is in recovery is also very challenging.  We all want to be surrounded by people who can really understand us, and who could understand better than someone who is going through the same things.  The problem is when the other baggage of life which led to their substance abuse issue threatens to overwhelm them are you going to be strong enough to prop them up without falling yourself?

At the end of the day you are going to test what I say and you are going to continue to spend time with your friends if you are a normal teen.  My strongest advice is get a sponsor and talk to your sponsor every day.  If you lose your sponsor (they are abducted by aliens, or they move to Guam, whatever) get a new one with in 10 days or you will relapse.

Working the program is important, working with a therapist is important, going to AA and avoiding people who will not support your sobriety are important things, but nothing is more important than having a sponsor who you can really trust and you can call 24/7/365.

I wish you luck and just remember.  30% of people make it!  When you think about how much change sobriety requires it always shocks me that anyone makes it.  You can be one of the 30% and I hope you are.