why girls are crazy

Dear Maigler, okay so I saw you post saying guys are dumb. So is it just me or is every girl nuts? I mean every girl I have ever dated was crazy in one way or another, are they all that way or do I just find the super emotional ones?

Crazy Magnet


Dear Crazy,

[a note: throughout this post (and many others) I will be making generalizations about men and women. This clearly does not apply to all but in the interests of time and space I am not qualifying every sentence]

What does it mean to be crazy?

Women are not crazy, they are just responding to a crazy society. If you were to play chess but you were given nothing but pawns the chances of winning would zero. So if you refused to play by the “rules” and you swept all the pieces to the floor your opponent might think you were crazy or irrational.

Our society was set up by men with the rules designed for them. If a man goes aggressively after the things he wants and gets them (sex, money, power, a nice house, prestige) he is called a success. If a woman goes after those same things in the same way some might call her a success but far more would call her a bitch. Women are constantly caught in a trap where every action will be thought wrong in some one's mind. Consequently women are often split wanting two opposite things at the same time.

For example should a woman go back to work after she has a child or should she stay home to raise him/her? There is no right answer to this. A man would say "well just choose one and accept it", but for a woman there will be many times when she wants both things and does not want to let either go, she knows she can't have both but doesn't stop wanting them. Does that make her crazy?

How about this one, when dating how good should a woman be at sex? Not being good could lead to being dumped but being too good could lead to the notion that she is a slut? That catch-22 would drive me crazy.

The most important thing though to understand is that most women value relationship and emotional connection over reason. For men feelings are compartmentalized, that which is rational is good, that which is irrational or impossible is not just bad but must be ignored and dismissed. Men are concrete and women tend to be fluid.

I imagine a man as a desk with a file cabinet and each issue is separate in it's own place. Family life should not touch work, romantic life does not taint sports, a place for everything and everything in it's place. Now I imagine a woman needing to use that desk but pouring herself, a gallon of life, in the top drawer of the desk. It pours down into all the files, everything is soaked, everything is impacted.

Does that sound crazy? To pour liquid in a file cabinet? It only sounds crazy because we are using the male construct for our basis of what is right and wrong. If we started with an aquarium and the man tried to stick his files in it he would be the one who seemed crazy.

For women whether or not something is reasonable is less important than if it is right. Once I realized that and stopped dismissing the ideas of the women in my life just because they were impossible we got along much better and the world seemed to balance in a new way.

So if you define crazy as irrational, then yes, every woman I have ever met at times values something over reason. Every woman I have ever met has at times been ruled by her emotions and has felt trapped by our society and felt like there was no way she could win.


So if every woman is “crazy” and every man is “dumb” what can we do? You have to find the right balance where one's crazy and they other's stupid complement each other. The key to happiness is finding the right fit and we all have to deal with the failings of the other, or be alone. I'll take a partner and a headache every time.