strip club fun for 21st b-day?

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Question: My 21st birthday is coming up and I don't really drink much so I was thinking about celebrating by going to a strip club with some friends. Part of me is excited about the idea, I've never had a girlfriend and I've always been really curious about what a strip club is like. Part of me is really nervous because I guess I've always been taught it is wrong. These women aren't forced to be there and they make a good living, so is there anything wrong with going to a strip club?

Answer: One definition of sin is to choose to do anything which you believe is wrong. It doesn't matter if it is eating meat or farting in an elevator if you believe it is wrong and you do it anyway you are probably going to regret it.

I must confess my bias when answering this question. I am personally opposed to strip clubs on moral and practical grounds.

You point out correctly that the women who work as dancers in strip clubs are not forced to be there and thus you are not violating their rights by going in and ogling them. It has been my experience, however, that many women who are sex workers (aka prostitutes), pornographic actresses, and to a lesser extent exotic dancers (aka strippers), have been victims of sexual abuse and/or assault and their willingness to expose their bodies is related to a lack of self worth and an unhealthy need for male attention. That creeps me out and makes me feel horribly guilty for even being of the same sex as the men who assaulted them.

Also I am a feminist and I believe that strip clubs and pornography impact us all negatively by reinforcing the concept that women are sex objects and they suggest a standard of beauty that can only be achieved by cosmetic surgery. Little boys who believe this is what they should be looking for are not growing up looking for partners but for objects to please them. Little girls who see these images cannot help feeling like they fail to measure up and that their natural beauty will not be enough.

On practical grounds strip clubs are designed to arouse which can only lead to 3 possible outcomes. 1.) they fail to arouse and you have wasted time and money 2.) they successfully arouse and you leave the premises uncomfortably unsatisfied 3.) they successfully arouse to the point where the customer ejaculates and that just seems messy and uncomfortable in a public setting. Thanks but I'll pass.

Again that is my personal bias. I have many close friends who truly enjoy frequenting such establishments. These are not bad guys but they are willing to accept the consequences. It will impact the way people think of you when they know you pay for such entertainment. If you would be mortified if your parents or grandparents found out, you probably shouldn't do it.

Another concern, if you are a person who has not had a lot of female attention, is these places can bleed you dry of every dollar. It is certainly not unheard of for men to become addicted to the attention they receive from the dancers and to drain their bank accounts to continually get the good feeling they find at the strip club.

Ultimately this is a personal decision and nothing terrible is likely to happen if you spend your 21st birthday at a strip club. It is a much safer choice than trying to do 21 shots. That being said if you are questioning whether this is the right plan for you it probably isn't.

As William Faulkner said in The Sound and the Fury "Each man is the arbiter of his own virtue" only you can say if going to a strip club makes you a good or bad person, but if you are worried about people judging you, they will, and you have to be prepared to deal with that.