can't trust bi-sexuals

If you read this blog and you like it, please sign up to follow it. Have a question? E-mail me and I'll give you an answer.

Question: I'm gay, and in the past both times I have tried dating someone who was bi she cheated on me with a guy. Now I can't feel comfortable dating someone who is bi because I know there is something they might be looking for that I can't give them. Recently my girlfriend got drunk and made out with a male friend. She said there was no romantic attraction to him, she is gay it was just an intimacy thing that seemed like a good idea when she was drunk. Now I can't stop thinking that she is secretly bi and that I need to break up with her before she dumps me for some meat stick. The problem is I love her. What should I do?

Answer: Love yourself enough to demand total fidelity from no matter who you are with and if you believe you can get it from this girl you keep her, and if you don't trust her you let her go.

Some might say you are prejudiced against bi-sexual women. Ok. That is your right. You don't have to like bi girls or blonds, or girls who don't like nascar. But if, however, you think you are going to be safe from being cheated on by keeping to just gay women you are kidding yourself.

I wonder about the fact that your girlfriend made out with someone other than you and you are more concerned that it was guy than about the fact that it happened at all.

Dating is hard for anyone. 99% of all romantic relationships end before death do us part. Just getting to the marriage part is a struggle and we know 50% of those end in divorce. If we try to be smart about relationships and make rules that will prevent us from getting hurt we are playing a fools game.

Every relationship (even the ones that last 60 years) hurt. Sometimes the pain comes because a relationship ends badly, sometimes it comes in the middle and we stagger on. If you are going to date you will know pain.

The only rule you need to keep is to demand that who ever you are with respect you and treats you with dignity. If you do this it will not keep you safe but if you don't you are quite clearly heading for disaster.

Let go of the bi-sexuality question with your girlfriend. Decide if you can trust her, and if you can roll the dice.